Procrastinating Sleep

Well, hello. It's been a few days since I've updated, and while I'm procrastinating my sleeping, I might as well update you on my life.

Work is going great, both at the library and on my book. I work almost every day this week, and I have at least 16 hours pretty consistently for the next couple weeks. It's a good feeling. Most of the shifts start at 8:15 in the morning, including tomorrow's, so that means I need to get to sleep pretty quick. But I'm glad to have work in the morning. I like that. Then I can come home and relax for the rest of the day.

I wrote a couple more pages on Google Docs for my revision project. Those of you who I have spoken to (or will speak to shortly) about this will be given access to these pages before too long. But I was just thinking that before I get people to help me revise, they should probably read the rough draft. Amirite? That's why I also printed out my book today. It's a monster. I'm going to go get it spiral-bound sometime this week, and then I'll start handing it around for you to read. Then after a person gets done reading, they can have access to the revision site. Logical, right? Sign up now if you want to get in on this action.

I also drew Callao today. Haven't scanned and colored yet, though. He looks good. With each piece, I'm trying to do something new and challenging, so for this one, Callao is playing a Game Boy-type thing AND he's sitting down on a bench or something. Pretty crazy, huh? Oh man.

And I spent all sorts of time making this quiz thing on Facebook, a "What Orphan Wars Character Are You?" quiz, but then something happened and it won't work. Frustrating. I might try to remake it sometime. I'll let all you facebook-ers know.

My virus program found and removed four more incarnations of the trojan today. The description says this virus replicates itself, like bacteria, so I suppose there might be more of them to flush out now and again. I'm just glad everything is still working. When I can save up enough money, I'll get a new computer. It's about time. But there are a few more things above that on the list, so who knows when it will actually happen.

I also just watched the first episode of Death Note. I read an issue of the manga a while back and really liked it. I liked this episode, too. It was in Japanese, with subtitles. I think I like watching anime that way. It's more authentic, and I feel like maybe I'll pick up some Japanese if I watch enough of it. It's possible. So, I'm going to watch more Death Note in the future, I think.

Church was interesting today. I actually went this week. I found myself rolling my eyes at half of the testimonies given (especially when they started crying) but I know this stuff is really important to them. And it was important to me too, at one point. Now... I don't know. There are just some things I can't get over. I don't think I can go away from my life for two years and expect everything to be okay. And maybe I'm supposed to trust in God but I don't know if I want to do that. Think about it: If I went on a mission, I would be spending two full years doing nothing but church stuff (no creative writing, no seeing Rachel, no art) and spending time with guys, guys, and more guys. In what universe does that sound like something I'd be interested in? Also, in what universe does that sound like a situation where I wouldn't get depressed beyond my wildest nightmares? I just think things would be better if I stayed. Maybe God agrees, maybe he doesn't. He hasn't said anything to be about it, so I don't know. Sorry, potential converts, but I can't bring you the gospel if I'm having issues with it myself. Not going to work out.

Seeing Jessica is still an interesting experience. We've moved on, of course, but I don't think I'll ever be able to see her and think of her as a regular friend. I mean, she was my first love. I don't think a person just forgets about that. There's always going to be some kind of special spark there, whether or not it ever lights anything on fire again. But there's no worries--Rachel is my one and only fire, and I could never want another. I'm sure she feels some of the same weird feelings about Tyrell. You just don't ever really let go of that. Something about the thought of them touching you again makes you shiver. But then you stop and think, and suddenly the idea seems laughable. Been there, done that, moved on. No need. Simple, really.

I still long for the creative force I had at the end of senior year. I don't think I've gotten back to that point yet. I would like to, though. And maybe doing this kind of writing is a good start. I have to write a poem soon, for Nova Fov. I guess I'd better get poetic, huh?